Tuesday, August 26, 2008

the trade was good today

You gave me an orange, I gave you coffee. You gave me an account of hospital life, I gave you a beach walk. You gave me a meaning for today's life, I gave you a sympathetic ear.

You left while singing I'm trading my sorrow, I'm trading my shame... I was left with a feeling of peace and joy.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

random and August observations

* ABBA's music is silly and I wouldn't listen to it voluntarily. And when I'm forced to, I can't help but love it.
* I have a wrapped present and no-one to give it to.
* When we are old, my friend and I will climb a tree (like this) and drink Australian Shiraz and laugh at life's troubles.
* When I want to be left alone, I must remember to dress entirely in black. And I look good in black too.
* Making someone happy doesn't mean compromising your integrity - do it some other way.
* Pointless nostalgic, that's me.
* Books I'm reading at the moment talk about: shame; living life slowly; freakonomics; the Order of the Phoenix; death; death again.
* Story I want to write: The tale of a thousand lighthouses.
* Stuff I want to google but never get around to: the songs of Nordman and Thoby Loth; lyrics of Don't You Love Me No More; English words I should know; the plot of novels I've read and forgot; video clips of people I admire; blue IKEA furniture; guesthouses in Brussels; how to change the language setting of my blog spellcheck; the song I once sang in a storm about I'm alive, take a breath; the wanna-be Olympic athlete who once sat on me and tried to gouge my eyes out - did she make it to Beijing this year?
* Website I want to come across accidentally while googling the above: blog of long-lost love of my life.

(Picture by Inge Löök)

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

softness in the air around me


Back to the desk although it's not as beautifully located as this one (which is my summer desk).

Sometimes I'm glad I'm getting older. New tasks, new responsibilities and new people are no longer as frightening as they once were. Not only because I'm better at believing in myself. But also because I've realised I don't always have to take everything so bloody seriously.

And I have new shoes which make me walk on clouds, and a new pair of velvety trousers which make me believe the world is oddly soft and comforting after all.

Monday, August 11, 2008

black hole found

"Make your choice, adventurous Stranger;
Strike the bell and bide the danger,
Or wonder, till it drives you mad,
What would have followed if you had."
(C.S.Lewis)

I trespassed today. It was meant to be. I cycled to the end of a lonely road, past a rooster and three fishermen, and found myself by a fence surrounding an old abandoned factory. Conveniently, there was a hole in the fence.

There were huge buildings on the factory premises. Now, extremely large and weird constructions, like towers, radio masts and silos, that sit in the middle of nowhere, are spooky. There are few things that unnerve me as inexplicably as wandering through the woods, for example, and suddenly finding myself at the foot of a tall radio mast that hums eerily and seems completely alien. These strange buildings had the same effect on me. There was something that looked like a brick fortress with unexpected ladders leading up to tower windows that had been broken eons ago. Other constructions like great halls, covered in warnings about explosive substances. Suddenly, about a million birds hanging out on the roof came swooping down and almost freaked me out.

But to prove to them that I wasn't scared, I went closer.

And I found an open door. I took one look inside and backed away. There was one thing only in there - darkness. The kind of darkness that sucks everything into itself and lets nothing back out.

I was lucky to escape. And I succeeded where everyone else has failed. Ladies and gentlemen, I hereby present to you the first picture ever of a black hole.

Friday, August 08, 2008

the place where even bad weather is beautiful


Sun, rest, thunderstorms, playful puppies, good books, bad coffee, family, a fire on chilly nights, swimming in the sea, heat, sparkling water, writing by a candle, fields of gold, eagles, inactivity, wine, fragrance of childhood, home, barefoot in the grass, flying squirrels, wood-heated sauna... and lovely, lovely dreams that took me far beyond space and time.

That's what I call a holiday.

And maybe the best part: coming back to the city with a genuine impatience to restart my life. Not to mention an impatience to finally have a cup of real coffee.