no reality please, we're poets

What do normal people do when they come home from work? Cook dinner for their kids? Go to an Italian evening class? Do their tax return? Book their next holiday? Hang out with loved ones in front of the telly? Something worthwhile, I'm sure.

I have taken to reading fantasy novels. Go away, real life.

the blog entry at the end of the world

They say today is supposed to be the Second Coming. Nice day for it. I'm sick and really wouldn't mind an end to the world of suffering right now.

And it's about time I met Jesus.

the complete city experience

A barren pedestrian path between heavy traffic and industrial buildings.
Architect-designed villas with outdoor jacuzzis.
A gem of a beach.
Woods with birds and squirrels.
A seashore with the sound of waves and the smell of seaweed.
Quaint backstreets with the laughter of children.
A busy inner-city market.
A McDonald's.
A construction site.
A racing track with horses being exercised.
A motorway.
Suburban apartment blocks.
A plant nursery with greenhouses.

One walk, all these things I passed. All within the city borders.

Ironically, I was humming, "Take me away from the city and lead me to where I can be on my own..."

joy and the Finns

You look at your own people, the nation you know so intimately. The reserved, inhibited, closed-up Finns with a low collective self-esteem. I.e., yourself. And suddenly, something happens and they all change. Including yourself.

Suddenly, the national icehockey team wins the world championships and people are dancing in the streets. Smiling and talking to strangers. Hanging out of cars, beeping, going mad together, staging an impromptu carnival with thousands of spontaneous participants in the middle of an ordinary Sunday night. The key words are "spontaneous" and "together". Not Finnish words at all.

This is not Finland. Except that it is. I hang out of my car and wave madly at strangers. I am a Finn and I am for once not reserved, inhibited, closed-up.

Raising a nation's self-esteem can be as important as an individual's. This has done us all good. In a cold country, joy is in the air and it is healing us.

Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back...

living next to barbed wire

"I'm on my way to prison but I'm early, can I drop by?"

Woken by a text message, a rainy Sunday in May. It may be a grey day, but it is the time of the darling buds of May, and birds are singing. After the visit by the prison visitor there is now nothing else to do but to drink wine, read newspapers and wait for church.

love: not a finnished product

I never loved my country more than when I was in exile. I always need a bit of a distance in order to love properly.

Loving when there is no distance is hard work. If I say "I love you" enough times, will that bring back the love that is now hidden too deep within me, beneath all the petty irritations?

So, I love Finland, and so many things about it. Today, I will mention the sea lapping against the jetties as I sat by the shore, the terns shrieking, and the lonely man steering his little boat out towars the open sea despite the treacherous waves and the fickle spring weather - the freedom I saw in his proud look. I will mention my rusty, trusty bicycle that has served me well, and sometimes not so well, since I was eleven, and the way it took me over miles of asphalt and gravel today when I needed to feel the wind in my face and the exertion in my muscles. I will mention the comfort in sitting at my mother's kitchen table and the joy of having morning coffee on the balcony when the temperature was just right. I will mention the beautiful library which has finally realised that the people needs not only quality literature but also TV series on DVD.

And I will mention the patriotism in the air today, one of the rare occasions Finns actually agree on hoping for the same thing. Or two things, this particular weekend: our talented representative in the Eurovision Song Contest tonight, and our brave ice hockey team in the world championship finals tomorrow. Whatever the outcome, right this moment I enjoy the feeling of being a Finn. I exhume the love.

spot the list I play with

Well, no chain, no lock, and this train won't stop
Check this hand 'cause I'm marvellous
It starts in my toes, make me crinkle my nose
De dansar som virvlar i ett vattenfall

I know we could live tomorrow, but I know I live today
Light over darkness, strength over weakness, joy over sadness
You got a cool gene pool and our winter's cruel
And that cigarrette you're smoking about to scare me half to death

Mustaa kahvia ja murskattuja haaveita
Jag ser blåljusen flimra på Söders höjder

I can feel the beat
Mieleeni kasvosi ikuistin

It's not my style, I get by, see I'm gonna do this for me
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I'm on the right track baby, I was born to be brave
I can feel you rushing through my veins

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme
And if sometimes I tire of the quiet and want to walk back up that hill
Excuse me forgetting but these things I do
One life, in the storm, in a lifetime

ode to Spotify

She poured the drinks and she poured the power, a diamond girl who could talk for hours
We'll show the world they were wrong, and teach them all to sing along
And it really doesn't matter that we don't eat
I hope all my days will be lit by your face

I said to the man, "Are you trying to tempt me because I come from the land of plenty?"
Try to remind myself that I was happy here before I knew I could get on a plane and fly away
Babylon back in business, can I get a witness?
I sit and talk to God and he just laughs at my plans

All you do is annoy me so I've been sent here to destroy you
When you hear the whistle blow you will know that I am gone
Innanför murar står klockorna still
Take me somewhere I can breathe, I got so much to see

Ihailen sitä kauempaa, ei se muuten ole unelmaa
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
Tonight I'm not taking no calls 'cause I'll be dancing
I'd sing you a morning, golden and new

Om bara Gud visste hur skön jag var skulle Gud säkert pröjsa min lön idag
Gonna let the rain pour, I'll be all you need and more
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand

So she throws him at the wall and kisses burn like fire
Medan natten ännu är ung och vår längtan lockar och drar
So I called up the Captain, please bring me my wine
I've always thought that I would love to live by the sea

A stranger in a country that I have yet to meet
Will these memories fade when I leave this town?
Jos sä tahdot niin, nimeäsi enää toista en
Sleight of hand and twist of fate

Thought it would be over by now but it won't stop
We spent the night in Frisco at every kind of disco
Si tu le parle ‘mmiezzo Americano
I can't believe how you slurred at me

I'm boring, I'm moody and you can't take me any place
Take a walk in the park when you feel down
Way behind the water hole, a little down the line
Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back

through a TV screen darkly

I have decided I must watch more TV. I feel too alienated in my own country. Need to get more in touch with popular culture. Bring on Idols and Salatut Elämät.

the juniper beach at the end of the world

A forest wild and ancient, untouched by man. A well-worn path where the sun glints through the branches overhead.

It is spring: the temperature mild in the shade, warm in the sun - and when the path veers within sight of the sea, a blast of chilling winter hits my cheeks. The sea open, endless in almost every direction - we are on The Island after all - and wide stretches of impossibly white ice still floating in the clear blue water. I could go mad trying to describe the beauty.

Someone spots a snake, just out of its hibernation. Eagles patrol the blue skies. Near the shore we find a stone oven supposedly built by Russian sailors who passed by in the early 18th century. "Do you think they baked pizza in here?"

Some of my companions on this hike are experienced walkers who think nothing of walking for weeks up and down mountains with a backpack. Others have just stumbled out of bed this afternoon after a late night party. A few are obsessive-compulsive geocachers who have to make a couple of detours to find treasures along the way. Today, I love them all. Who wouldn't, when the sun is melting the ice after a cold winter and people are smiling at you?

We reach the end of the trail, a fishing cottage surrounded by the sea and the sky, and the map tells us we are almost in the middle of the Baltic Sea. A landscape of rocks, juniper and rowan. We unpack our picnic on a tiny beach where the cold wind can't reach us. Stretch out in the sun. Share sandwiches and sweets and coffee and jokes.

And a little flirting on the walk back. Yes, life is perfect.

from Costa Rica with love

A long sleep, the prince and a feeling of self-confidence in my dreams. I wake up to a lazy day off, a day longed for. Drawn-out brunch with a view of sun over water. There are no plans except reading, watching a DVD, writing something. This is a good morning.

Predictably: restlessness creeps in. Another useless, worthless day. A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. 

But then the coffee is brewing. The magic potion. I smell it, long for it, pick out a mug to use - and I feel loved. Accepted. I am here, alive, doing nothing worthwhile except just being. And it's OK. It's all that is needed for the world to go on.