In the office. I'm celebrating - with berry tea - the one-year anniversary of the day I was told I had got this job. A big day for me.
My coworker Butterfly is worried over the fact that business is slow. She saunters over to the boss for a little chat. He confirms what we have been silently dreading but too afraid to ask about: layoffs ( temporary or not, he doesn't say ) may be on the horizon. As soon as the other boss comes in to the office, we will all sit down for a meeting to discuss it.
Butterfly and I spend the day whispering about it. She finds it difficult to concentrate on her task of clearing out old files and I stare distractedly at the business quality plan I'm incompetently trying to put together. At last, the other boss arrives, but there is no sign of that meeting about to take place. We wait, biting our nails. "They probably want to have it at the end of the work day," Butterfly whispers. "In case we run home crying," I agree, grinning.
The boss walks past a few times, getting his coffee refill. The other boss comes over to discuss the quality plan. And then, it's 4 pm. Butterfly and I put our coats on, shout "see you tomorrow" towards the boss' room and go home.
None the wiser. What a day.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Saturday, January 25, 2014
my liege
I am being controlled by one person. If not for that person I would feel less guilty, take more road trips, go live in another country, be true to myself, not worry, love freely.
But how do I break free? When that person has given me everything and keeps giving? When I owe my loyalty, my love, my whole life to someone who would not survive without it?
But how do I break free? When that person has given me everything and keeps giving? When I owe my loyalty, my love, my whole life to someone who would not survive without it?
Monday, January 20, 2014
2013: the year of crooked seams, introverted dates and a cucumber candy cactus
"I'm a hopeless wanderer and I will learn,
I will learn to love the skies I'm under"
(Mumford & Sons)
The year 2013:
* The New Year: eating Sacher Torte in front of a roaring fire after an eleven-course Chinese dinner, saying "I have no illusions that my life will change at all this year".
* Not three days later, a big change in the form of zumba.
* Not four weeks later, a massive change in the form of a new job. Now emailing China about high-visibility fabric and heat transfer prints, sorting out button holes for prison guards and sleeve badges for firemen.
* Other changes included: not feeling like a nerd anymore, spending 40 hours a week with complete strangers, spending too much time at work, having too little to do, studying languages out of sheer boredom, witnessing one disastrous crisis after the other.
* Not being dirt poor anymore: the happiness of buying a bottle of raspberry sparkling water and having delicious lunches all over town.
* Claiming my own ground: now I know how to register new land risen from the sea.
* The feeling of pulling open a heavy door and enter a deathly silent church: the funeral of my very first and very special childhood friend.
* Smashing a computer to very pretty pieces.
* Pinterest: source of overwhelming inspiration and beauty.
* Slipping even further into minimalism and the American dream.
* Another Irish adventure: a cold and glorious spring, chasing cats, driving criminally, feeling loved, dancing with a Spaniard, walking into a glitzy Citibank building in dirty denim, going through every second-hand book shop... and enjoying haunted houses, an indie film premiere in a dark basement, tall stories from Polynesia, bubble tea, heart-breaking people and places.
* Death of my first night-club friend, with whom I once got life-threateningly lost in a Russian slum.
* Accused of being an anti-fur activist, by 82-year-old lady who threw her fur coat at me.
* Life crisis: haven't accomplished a family or anything memorable, think happiness isn't for me - but that isn't going to stop me from sucking out all the marrow of life.
* Celebrating on a pink moon day, deciding what music is to be played on the radio in the future, and going on a date that included red roses.
* Throwing a party, with more than a little help from my friends. Presents included hot stone massage and a cucumber candy cactus.
* Traditional May Day hike on the Island to look for perch and have a picnic with sun and the fragrance of ice.
* Best friend's wedding, proudly seated at the weird table, co-presenting the most entertaining entertainment.
* Hysterical photo shoot with best friends, with instructions from long-suffering photographer: "Kiss her on the cheek! Give us some girl power! Boy power, then? Was that it, was that your moment?!"
* A summer night's dream, barefoot in a red dress and wild hair at midnight, smiled at by strangers.
* Planting potatoes (10 pcs).
* Midsummer weekend with family and some very loud volleyball.
* One measly week of summer vacation - managed to squeeze in as many diseases and thunderstorms as possible but also some peace of mind.
* The usual, lovely city summer life with beachvolley, lattes in the sun and cannelloni bought with "grazie mille" from a real Italian.
* The usual, lovely country summer life with beachvolley, instant coffee in the sun and glow-worm hunting at midnight.
* Watching a vintage boat race and having waffles with a pathologist and a politician.
* A night in the emergency room with an ailing mother, The Shadow of the Wind and rather fascinating patients.
* A blissful evening by the sea, for once alone in paradise and feeling at home.
* Hot stone massage, luxury lunch in the sun and wine evening with the giggle girls.
* Date on a deserted island with an introvert. With the same man on other occasions: cider at seafront cafés, take-out pizza in the park, burger meals, a delicious Mexican dinner to celebrate an excavator.
* Nostalgia, chocolate cake and some really incomprehensible academic terminology.
* A hot autumn day in the great forests of the east where my father was born - a funeral and a family feeling.
* IT consulting and various other consulting for my old job, realised my old job was much more demanding than my new one.
* Lessons on how to treat a fur coat.
* All Saints' Day multi-religious cemetery tour with friends, including a bit of geo-caching and cheesecake.
* Under-stimulated at work, over-stimulated at home.
* Winning in volleyball with the town's biggest, baddest and biceps'est men.
* Making a film documentary about a Shell jacket, in Chinese.
* Making an ex-boyfriend jealous for no reason ( and feeling rather good about it ).
* Sick leave: Three days with a fever on the sofa and howling with laughter while watching old episodes of QI.
* Christmas with bucketloads of mulled wine, rain, The Elegance of the Hedgehog and being put in a headlock by my brother.
* New Year's Eve with the Spinster Club, Hopeless Cases Division. Included a long drive in my White Witch coat, a new constellation of friends, fireworks and green tea.
Marvels I have beheld this year:
* A genuine London cab in a small Finnish town.
* A dog in a bag on a picnic table. Not for eating and very much alive.
* My new life: zumba, salad and statistics
* A supernova reflected in a quiet sea
* Moon cakes straight from Shanghai
* Exhaustion, over-interpretation and a break from church
* Random fact learned: An IRA terrorist wanted in connection with a bombing is now teaching religion in a Catholic school in Gambia
Parties:
* A hen party in a charming cottage next to an airport runway.
* Midnight trampoline bouncing with maniacal laughter.
* A night of Mexican food, airhockey, jiving with a Romanian among pub tables, dancing all night.
* Sangria and Glee with a pathologist who doesn't want to watch CSI because "cutting up people myself is more fun than watching others do it".
* Dinner, a rom com and chocolate-dipped popcorn with family.
* Pub evening with my weirdest Cockney friend and tales of stabbings, prison and heartbreak.
* Pie with volleyball friends and talk about starting a cocoa farm.
* Discussions of dreams and Downton Abbey in a blizzard on the Island.
Phenomena in the Garment District (a.k.a. my workplace):
* Learning the Chinese sign for "wool".
* Pondering the fact that the Finnish Army might have to wear asymmetrical shirts with crooked seams.
* Coworker taking foot soaks in the sink.
* Quoting Shakespeare to win an argument with a supplier.
* Screaming in rage down the phone to China.
* Eating moon cakes with ice sand egg yolk filling - can my Chinese friend really not find a better translation for the ingredients or is she having me on?
* Not receiving the promised garment samples because someone has constipation.
* Rating couriers according to their social skills, ability to lift heavy parcels and choice of the music that is blaring from their van.
* Studying the teachings of Nietsche and playing a Dr. Who game.
* Chasing a bird through the office.
I will learn to love the skies I'm under"
(Mumford & Sons)
The year 2013:
* The New Year: eating Sacher Torte in front of a roaring fire after an eleven-course Chinese dinner, saying "I have no illusions that my life will change at all this year".
* Not three days later, a big change in the form of zumba.
* Not four weeks later, a massive change in the form of a new job. Now emailing China about high-visibility fabric and heat transfer prints, sorting out button holes for prison guards and sleeve badges for firemen.
* Other changes included: not feeling like a nerd anymore, spending 40 hours a week with complete strangers, spending too much time at work, having too little to do, studying languages out of sheer boredom, witnessing one disastrous crisis after the other.
* Not being dirt poor anymore: the happiness of buying a bottle of raspberry sparkling water and having delicious lunches all over town.
* Claiming my own ground: now I know how to register new land risen from the sea.
* The feeling of pulling open a heavy door and enter a deathly silent church: the funeral of my very first and very special childhood friend.
* Smashing a computer to very pretty pieces.
* Pinterest: source of overwhelming inspiration and beauty.
* Slipping even further into minimalism and the American dream.
* Another Irish adventure: a cold and glorious spring, chasing cats, driving criminally, feeling loved, dancing with a Spaniard, walking into a glitzy Citibank building in dirty denim, going through every second-hand book shop... and enjoying haunted houses, an indie film premiere in a dark basement, tall stories from Polynesia, bubble tea, heart-breaking people and places.
* Death of my first night-club friend, with whom I once got life-threateningly lost in a Russian slum.
* Accused of being an anti-fur activist, by 82-year-old lady who threw her fur coat at me.
* Life crisis: haven't accomplished a family or anything memorable, think happiness isn't for me - but that isn't going to stop me from sucking out all the marrow of life.
* Celebrating on a pink moon day, deciding what music is to be played on the radio in the future, and going on a date that included red roses.
* Throwing a party, with more than a little help from my friends. Presents included hot stone massage and a cucumber candy cactus.
* Traditional May Day hike on the Island to look for perch and have a picnic with sun and the fragrance of ice.
* Best friend's wedding, proudly seated at the weird table, co-presenting the most entertaining entertainment.
* Hysterical photo shoot with best friends, with instructions from long-suffering photographer: "Kiss her on the cheek! Give us some girl power! Boy power, then? Was that it, was that your moment?!"
* A summer night's dream, barefoot in a red dress and wild hair at midnight, smiled at by strangers.
* Planting potatoes (10 pcs).
* Midsummer weekend with family and some very loud volleyball.
* One measly week of summer vacation - managed to squeeze in as many diseases and thunderstorms as possible but also some peace of mind.
* The usual, lovely city summer life with beachvolley, lattes in the sun and cannelloni bought with "grazie mille" from a real Italian.
* The usual, lovely country summer life with beachvolley, instant coffee in the sun and glow-worm hunting at midnight.
* Watching a vintage boat race and having waffles with a pathologist and a politician.
* A night in the emergency room with an ailing mother, The Shadow of the Wind and rather fascinating patients.
* A blissful evening by the sea, for once alone in paradise and feeling at home.
* Hot stone massage, luxury lunch in the sun and wine evening with the giggle girls.
* Date on a deserted island with an introvert. With the same man on other occasions: cider at seafront cafés, take-out pizza in the park, burger meals, a delicious Mexican dinner to celebrate an excavator.
* Nostalgia, chocolate cake and some really incomprehensible academic terminology.
* A hot autumn day in the great forests of the east where my father was born - a funeral and a family feeling.
* IT consulting and various other consulting for my old job, realised my old job was much more demanding than my new one.
* Lessons on how to treat a fur coat.
* All Saints' Day multi-religious cemetery tour with friends, including a bit of geo-caching and cheesecake.
* Under-stimulated at work, over-stimulated at home.
* Winning in volleyball with the town's biggest, baddest and biceps'est men.
* Making a film documentary about a Shell jacket, in Chinese.
* Making an ex-boyfriend jealous for no reason ( and feeling rather good about it ).
* Sick leave: Three days with a fever on the sofa and howling with laughter while watching old episodes of QI.
* Christmas with bucketloads of mulled wine, rain, The Elegance of the Hedgehog and being put in a headlock by my brother.
* New Year's Eve with the Spinster Club, Hopeless Cases Division. Included a long drive in my White Witch coat, a new constellation of friends, fireworks and green tea.
Marvels I have beheld this year:
* A genuine London cab in a small Finnish town.
* A dog in a bag on a picnic table. Not for eating and very much alive.
* My new life: zumba, salad and statistics
* A supernova reflected in a quiet sea
* Moon cakes straight from Shanghai
* Exhaustion, over-interpretation and a break from church
* Random fact learned: An IRA terrorist wanted in connection with a bombing is now teaching religion in a Catholic school in Gambia
Parties:
* A hen party in a charming cottage next to an airport runway.
* Midnight trampoline bouncing with maniacal laughter.
* A night of Mexican food, airhockey, jiving with a Romanian among pub tables, dancing all night.
* Sangria and Glee with a pathologist who doesn't want to watch CSI because "cutting up people myself is more fun than watching others do it".
* Dinner, a rom com and chocolate-dipped popcorn with family.
* Pub evening with my weirdest Cockney friend and tales of stabbings, prison and heartbreak.
* Pie with volleyball friends and talk about starting a cocoa farm.
* Discussions of dreams and Downton Abbey in a blizzard on the Island.
 |
| Mutant from the Garment District |
* Learning the Chinese sign for "wool".
* Pondering the fact that the Finnish Army might have to wear asymmetrical shirts with crooked seams.
* Coworker taking foot soaks in the sink.
* Quoting Shakespeare to win an argument with a supplier.
* Screaming in rage down the phone to China.
* Eating moon cakes with ice sand egg yolk filling - can my Chinese friend really not find a better translation for the ingredients or is she having me on?
* Not receiving the promised garment samples because someone has constipation.
* Rating couriers according to their social skills, ability to lift heavy parcels and choice of the music that is blaring from their van.
* Studying the teachings of Nietsche and playing a Dr. Who game.
* Chasing a bird through the office.
Friday, January 10, 2014
just another day at the office
I have a coworker who enjoys footbaths in the sink at the office, takes notes when I quote Shakespeare, and reads aloud to me about the tragic life of the fig wasp.
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