Tuesday, April 19, 2011

the morning after the ice age

After a winter you thought would be the death of you...

... you walk down a city street one day and it's suddenly sunny. For the first time in months you don't have to shiver. For the first time in months you don't have to fight for your survival. You see a handsome man walking towards you and he catches your eye. As you pass the beautiful stranger, on a silly impulse, you walk a little bit too close and give him a shy smile. The way people don't do it here in this surly city.

And he smiles back. And after a bit you turn back and see him look back over his shoulder at you.

And then you know. You will not die.

Monday, April 18, 2011

it's destiny, my love... destiny and chicken

Prayer and Scarborough Fair. Chicken tortilla lunch, spring sun and dust. Spotify, obsessing over Camelot and how to become a warrior princess.

How boring and intriguing...

Saturday, April 09, 2011

parable of the castle

This is life:

You are alone in a dark, abandoned castle. It's midnight. Quiet and cold. The drawbridge is up and the gates are locked. You wander, aimlessly and lost, from room to darkened room.

You know that somewhere deep in the castle there is one light burning. A tiny, weak candle. Sometimes you happen to walk into the right room and there it is, warm and comforting in spite of its weakness. Then you lose it again, because you can't stop moving. Still, in your loneliness and despair, you know: it's there.

Hope.

Saturday, April 02, 2011

auto-destruct in: ten.nine.eight...

Today's mood: doubting absolutely everything, including God, my own sanity and the wisdom in staying in on a Saturday evening. When I could be out drinking, overdosing on the latest drug, vomiting on a stranger's shoes and slitting my wrists in a public toilet.

I even started watching old Star Trek: Voyager-episodes on YouTube.