asking questions, breaking pencils

Two years of slow studying have come to an end. 

Yesterday we gathered around snacks, a strawberry champagne bottle, speeches, roses, choked laughter.

The Fellowship of the Nine has walked through self-doubt, attitude changes, insights, breathing exercises, goal orientation exercises, concentration exercises, speaking exercises, stress and fears and phobias, giggled stories, tears, a lot of theory, even a spot of quantum physics. And questions, questions, questions, asked and answered. Problems solved and problems brought to the surface. 

The slow studying wasn't very slow after all. I have filled hundreds of pages with notes, typed the same notes into my laptop, read and reread books, and coached clients - real people with real and complicated needs.

I have learned that horizontal breathing is vital, stress is fear, behaviour springs from needs, my need is to be seen and heard, to coach is to ask questions - and that I can break a pencil using only one finger.

These two years are over - and every single one of us seemed ready to howl with grief.

give my inner child a sugar-free morceau de gâteau

April projects: enjoy Easter, spend no money at all, learn French, let go of worrying, do fun stuff (without spending money), deal with my inner child, celebrate my birthday, get serious about sugar, buy a laptop (preferably without spending money).

Piece of cake. (For my birthday - not sugarfree!)

study slowly, soothingly

Education these days is modern and high-tech, I said to myself and brought my best laptop to class. 

None of the other students did. The teacher distributed notebooks and pens. To learn a piece of information, she told us, you have to ponder it actively for at least 30 seconds - preferably by writing it down, talking about it and practicing it. 

Hence the slow pace and the note-taking by hand, I presume. There is also talking and practicing. The teacher even speaks in a slow, soothing voice. It should drive me crazy. 

But after the first hour, I found myself soothed into a pensive but alert state of mind - and remembering the information afterwards.

I'm back to studying - slowly - and I relish it.