Saturday, December 11, 2010

but a walking shadow

Fairy lights. Candlelight. Laptop screen light. Street light reflected on snow.

The light inside me is burning low.

Spent some time with my family. In the middle of life. A children's dance show, my beautiful niece did herself justice. Lots of proud fathers and beaming mothers and bored siblings in the audience. I pretended to be a part of it. I would have laughed at the dancers who were more preoccupied with twirling their pretty skirts than focusing on their dance number. But the laughter couldn't find its way to me. I could see and hear love in the voices of my family. But I could neither feel nor taste it, it stopped somewhere short. My darkness is impenetrable.

But this is just one day of sorrow. Tomorrow there will be a slight shift towards the future. A brief nuance of a brighter light.

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