Small. Sad. Lost. Separated from myself.
Out of comfort food (why, oh why did I not pick up Ben & Jerry's on the way home?), shivering with cold, adding to my headache with sour white wine, feeling near death because of a beginning toothache, unable to escape reality but trying desperately, pathetic, indifferent to my friends' attempts to reach out, worrying in advance about the cold weather coming and my car which will refuse to start. Hello, Christmas. How do other people sort out their lives?
Maybe I won't have to, if the world really ends tomorrow. I will be spending the last day of the earth at work, wrapping presents and trying to smile at customers while being annoyed by the fact that the apocalypse will be ruining my holidays. In the evening, the end-of-the-world movie 2012 is on the telly. I will be watching it, or the real thing.
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