Sat on the balcony, balancing a glass of cheap white wine on a wobbly old stool, and tried to plan. Looked at the clouds and got slightly inebriated. Thought about inviting someone to join me, but nobody suitable immediately came to mind. So I was alone, but not entirely lonely.
Rearranged the gauzy white curtains by the window and looked around the tiny flat. The furniture is old and ratty and I can't afford to renew any of it. I am alone and far from where I would really like to be. But I can look out at the sea and I feel so, so lucky to be here. Blessed, even.
Walked three blocks to the corner shop to get icecream. The evening sun was golden and the air was cold, much too cold for June. Walking felt good. I love the city streets in the evening and the comforting presence of strangers, other evening wanderers going who knows where, at the shop.
Came home, planted myself on the sofa and rented a film online. A slow, down-to-earth one that made me think and feel, while I ate icecream and drank pints of spiced tea.
Beauty is everywhere, all around me. I feel I should be old, frustrated, depressed, cynical. But how can I be, when life is drowning me in beauty?
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