My mind is becoming scattered. My attention is fluttering in a hundred different directions. I can't even write a short blog entry on a single subject - even if I manage to stay on the web page long enough without moving on to a dozen others.
I can no longer sink into a good novel for hours as before. I find it difficult to sit through an entire two-hour film. I feel immediately anxious if I have nothing to do. And yet, I am mentally exhausted and don't want to go out or see anyone apart from my laptop in the evenings.
More and more often, I have to force myself to fix my eyes on a still object and breathe evenly for a while, just to relax my over-stimulated mind.
This cannot be healthy. I'm afraid that with a few more years of this, I will no longer be capable of thinking with concentration on a single subject.
While writing this blog entry, apart from moving over to other websites every now and then, I actually started two other blog entries on other topics.
WHAT is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?—
No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep and cows:
And stare as long as sheep and cows:
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night:
Streams full of stars, like skies at night:
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance:
And watch her feet, how they can dance:
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began?
Enrich that smile her eyes began?
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
We have no time to stand and stare.
( W.H.Davies: "Leisure" )
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