digging up my soul, going down, excavation

Twice every month or so, this past spring, I went to an ugly building in town to talk to a wise woman. I left home in good time and walked there slowly, along quiet backstreets, so I could think long and hard about the meeting ahead.

The woman sat down and listened intently. Her warm eyes seemed to warm my cold and terrified soul. I spoke with a desperate determination to take every aspect of my life that seemed messed up, offer it up to this kind stranger and not leave or back down until it was sorted out. Things I thought I would bury forever. She listened and asked a few probing questions.

For a person who didn't say much, the woman taught me many secrets. After an hour with her, I felt as if I had been seen as the troubled person I am, and accepted anyway. Strong and capable not despite, but because of, my problems. More at home in my own skin, vulnerable and resilient at the same time.

I'm glad a life crisis forced me to do this. To dig out the old ghosts and let them see light. The ones that still exist don't seem that dangerous anymore. I think that woman saved my sanity.

(Title borrowed from U2: "Elevation")