2017: the year of breaking, mending and knitting

* Started the year with an impromptu midnight party with wine and meringue-and-persimmon cake.
* Fell into despair of the worst kind, then fell in love - all in one night.
* Rescued road kill - an Edam cheese.
* Contributed to a businessman's memoirs.

* Bought rescue spray and heard God speak.
* Took anti-depressants and talked to a therapist for months.
* Stood in a bread line with a criminal and drove him to his trial.
* Ate pizza from the 80s, courtesy of my boss.
* Stopped for a hitch-hiker.
* Had a moving weekend in Tampere.
* Finished my cross-stitch project not touched for 20 years.
* Pledged eternal friendship and prayed on a cold April beach.

* Taught myself how to knit scarves.
* Realised that I'm good at trust.
* Had Easter brunch with sourdough croissants, rhurbarb juice and friends.
* Got a new nickname: The P-filter.
* Attended a book release party with blue cookies.
* Took a guided tour of the pathology department at the hospital - tissue studies, the autopsy room and a forgotten fetus in a jar.
* Celebrated my birthday: care label composition, hospital lunch (more fun than it sounds), parties: with wine, pizza and rowdy friends in a bohemian attic, with silver pear-and-strawberry cake and quieter friends, with luxury chocolate cake and family.
* Tried to fix my knees, without much success.
* Was compared to the common houseleek ("letting no nonsense through").
* Babysat a fluffy cat.
* Discovered new worlds in the town museum.
 * Went to a police auction (bought  none).
* Took a road trip to the world heritage site of Rauma old town.
* Enjoyed days of nostalgia and free-spirited roaming in my beloved city of Turku: wine by the river, organ concerts, prison visits and exloring the best castle in the world.

* Experienced a summer in paradise: rain and chilly air, wild rabbits and herons, feeding the fire with A Farewell to Arms, bike race in rain-heavy forest, boat race in sunny harbour, partying with fireworks and barbecue and family, lazy introspection in the company of wine and a poodle and a wide open sky, and a delicious day with butter-fried perch.
* Started food fights in the local hospital.
* Celebrated midsummer with the Midsummer People, sauna and French toast.
* Had visits by a death-defying kitten.
* Organized balcony parties, a summer favourite.
* Bought a grandma bicycle.
* Took a road trip to Helsinki to watch beachvolley on a sunny beach and drink mojitos.

* Painted a house yellow.
* Experienced the Night of the Arts with friends, the best nachos in town, and cider and low conversation by a darkening sea.
* Drove across the country on summery roads to watch the beachvolley championships: hot sun and huddling in pouring rain under umbrellas, princess cake in bed and old Batman reruns in a crowded budget hotel room - inspiration for the autumn ahead.
* Cut down on volleyball, took up pilates and the piano and some difficult dancing instead.
* Had an unexpected encounter with the finance minister.
* Did an art excursion with art-lovers in coffee-smelling studios with rainy windows.
* Waved goodbye to my shepherd and guiding light.
* Enjoyed a Per Gessle concert with coworkers, beer, a long skirt, a VIP badge and a plus one.
* Had some lovely, dark autumn evenings with Harry Potter, friends and wine.

* Was commanded to go on a training day at work: a boat trip to the outer archipelago with ancient history, wilderness and a great steak.
* Explored the secret rooms of the city: Mannerheim's bedroom, a haunted theatre and a wig studio, a top-secret cigar room, a cupola on the roof, the Court of Appeal with chandeliers and Finland's oldest flag.
* Visited the dog shelter and fell in love more than once.
* Had an October picnic by the sea with an old lady.
* Lighted my winter mornings with a daylight lamp.
* Enjoyed a suspiciously happy November.
* Did an All Saint's Eve with a difference: drove north under a gigantic moon to see long-lost relatives and listen to a private organ concert in a deserted church.
* Was whisked away to an office party with luxury, gold and burlesque dancers.
* Drank my way through a tea calendar in December.
* Played at being a shop assistant selling Danish design.
* Had a nightclub outing with new friends and half the town, much frustration and some joy.
* Dined on fine steaks and wine with one volleyball team, hamburgers and beer with another.
* Wandered through a winter weekend in Tallinn with medieval feelings and honey beer. Found the gates of heaven.
* Celebrated Christmas in two places at once and almost crashed my mother's new retro Fiat.
* Had a Nepalese New Year's dinner with new friends and Lambrusco while other people's children ran rampage in my home.

A year of anxiety and exhaustion - but also the end of the Reign of Terror in my life. Seeking help, rooting out buried secrets, learning to listen to my body and live as loved. Looking for God, facing up to demons, daring to be weak, growing stronger.

A year of gym, pilates, piano, knitting scarves and seeking help, physical and mental therapy, troubled back, troubled knees, troubled hair, book club, volleyball  - but no beachvolley.

Social events: pool in pubs, "Finlandia" and hot tuna sandwiches, cocktail testing, gingerbread cookie baking, office parties, Harry Potter nights.

Work: talk show, teenage gaming slang, Bogart movies, other 40s movies, Puccini and his white beans, English for a child show competition, care labels and inspection certificates, the law, what to do in the event of nuclear fallout, googling assassin terminology.