stop being an arrogant bitch

My whole life, just about, I have wanted to create. More specifically, to write.

My whole life, just about, this craving has frustrated me in some way or another.

As I get older, I increasingly doubt my ability to write well. But that is not really the problem. The problem is that I have nothing to write about.

Now I have identified the underlying issue, I think. I don't know how to write, because I have no-one to write for. An important part of me don't want anyone (at least not anyone I know in real life) to read it. Maybe because I'm afraid of judgment. Maybe because I have come to detest the ever-present attention-seeking everywhere, manifesting itself on social media, and would do anything not to succumb to the same.

Because I think that I'm better than all these pathetic attention-seekers.

And this arrogance stems from bitterness - over all the things that never turned out the way I hoped (expected!) them to do - and secret envy of others.

My self-prescribed medicine: learn to love myself and my life, such as it is, and humbly let people into my secret life of writing. Stop being an arrogant bitch.