Snow is falling, the last of this Christmas's traditional glögg-drink is simmering on the stove and I'm planning to go out and buy the thickest candle I can find.
One night just before Christmas, I had to venture out in the dark streets in the middle of the night because of a borrowed poodle with a tummy ache. While the poodle was chewing on frosty grass, as dogs with tummy aches do, I shivered, yawned and studied the apartment buildings of the neighbourhood. Most windows were dark, a few were lit by Christmas decorations that had been left on overnight. Electric candelabras, stars and strings of light.
Outside of one dark window hung a simple wooden lantern with the only non-electric light I could see, a thick candle flickering in the wind. The next days I looked for it every time I walked past and it was still lit, day and night. The window belonged to a small flat in the most run-down building around, probably inhabited by a student. I imagined a young woman living alone but not lonely, romantic, full of dreams for the future. Planning a life in beautiful places far from this cold, dark back street in the North. Making the most of her life here, decorating her home with this romantic, thick candle left to burn day and night over Christmas to symbolize the poetry of life.
After a while, I realised that my sleep-addled brain was confusing her with me. And that the student in the flat probably was a loser, judging by the constant blueish flicker of a TV or computer game in his/her window that I saw at more humane times of the day. (Which could, on the other hand, also be confused with me - I watch quite a lot of TV in the winter.) I am not so young, fast approaching the midpoint of life, but I live alone and plan and prepare for a wonderful future in places far from this dark street. Meanwhile, I light candles and make the most of life here.
When the time for Christmas lights is over but darkness still lingers here in the Nordic winter, I will hang a lantern on my balcony with a thick candle left to burn day and night, flickering in the wind. To symbolize the poetry of life and light my way.
No comments:
Post a Comment