Jealous of people who got it all together.
Don't want to be happy for them. I want to be happy for ME!
Why are some people just happy? Why do they say God fills their lives with joy and peace and why, on top of this, do they have big happy families, good jobs, loads of friends?
When I ask them, they reply that God wants me to have all the good things too. And though they don't mean it like that, to me they are implying that I must be doing something wrong. Can they not understand that there are people who devote their lives to God, do everything right and still suffer? And people like me who are trying to get it right, who muddle along, run off to do the wrong thing occasionally, suffer, but still hang on to God for dear life because He is all they've got?
Feeling lost. But I think God knows where I am.
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