Tuesday, December 19, 2006

laughing and killing in the Now

My adorable little nephew and my painfully cute little niece are trying to scratch each other's eyes out. I'm trying to keep them as far apart as possible but no distance is too great for sibling ire.

Still, how can anyone not love this little angels, however avenging they are? Children amaze me - they are always so in the Now. Everything is vitally important: a toy, a loose tooth, a best friend in kindergarten, the painful and exuberant waiting for Santa Claus - in this moment, this is all that exists in the entire universe. Every joy is without limits and every betrayal a mortal wound. There is no perspective- if your brother gets a slightly larger piece of the chocolate cake you wail over the injustice of the universe because you cannot understand that the next time the larger piece will be yours, or you will grow up and earn a larger salary than him so it all evens out in the end... The pain of childhood: you fight for your happiness at every moment and if you fail there is no consolation.

As an adult, I find myself for the first time thankful that I know not only the highs but the lows. By now, I know that what feels like the end of the world is not necessary that. I know that this too will pass.

I only wish it wouldn't apply the other way: I'm too well aware of the fact that the present joy will fade or be crushed. I have decided to fight this - my moments of joy and happiness I will savour as if it was my last day on earth. Because one hour of joy compensates for a day of sorrow.

I think my niece and nephew would agree, but they are busy killing each other right Now.

3 comments:

Prince K. said...

Simple... and wise...
I really am amazed at how you can put in both these things into your 'desperate' communiques...
The pain of childhood....
Maybe we console ourselves in the thought that later on it will even out... But does it?
Maybe I am short-sighted in saying that later on it may never even out. A larger salary is no compensation for that smaller piece of chocolate cake... at that moment.
And, yes... every betrayal during your childhood is a painful, mortal wound. It returns everytime you think of the betrayer.


Ah, well...
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!
{Lest I forget}

Different Pen said...

I'm actually not sure whether it all evens out in the end. We all get our undeserved pleasures and our injustices during the course of our lives, but as you say, does a larger salary really compensate for a smaller piece of cake? In our subjective view? And with this subjectivity, we can never with certainty say whether it all balances in the end. Don't expect justice but don't lose your faith (in God and humanity) - that's kind of my motto.

Thank you - all the best season's greetings to you too!

Prince K. said...

But, aren't humans subjective always?
Isn't that mostly what 'normal' humanity all about? Its bad, yes, but some people say it makes them more 'human'....

{Well, a High Elven Prince won't know much about this!!!!!!}

Chocolate is a very good anti-depressant, but extremely temporary. I love it... its like alcohol, only it doesn't cause excessive hangovers. Thank you, ever more admirable PP!!!