Thursday, November 24, 2016

non-mother

Went to church and sat with my back to the wall, as I like best. Beside me was a mother with a circa-three-year-old. The girl, dressed in a cute, lacy dress, sat straight up in her seat, head thrown back and mouth open. Fast asleep.

The mother gathered the child in her lap after a while and held her while she slept on. It must have been uncomfortable for the woman after a while, to sit through a long sermon with a not-so-small child heavy in her arms.The love on her face was evident and I was envious.

I have never really longed for children and life is not giving me any. And yet, being without makes me an alien on this planet. I will never be one of the human race, and it hurts.

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