Stormgazer. That's what I'm going to be when I've tired of being a candlestick maker. I'm practicing right now, in the comfort of my own armchair, while an autumn storm is hurling rain and rattling the windows. I don't recognise this December. Where is the snow? The cold? The glitter of Christmas Future? This is November still, outstaying its welcome, suffocating the season's cheer in its all consuming darkness.
I have been buried under a pile of work and existential angst. The smiles of some people helped me crawl out again - while the smiles of others, uncomprehending, only heaped more weights onto my burden.
But I am standing up again. Determined to be strong, true, beautiful, wise.
Stormgazer, yes. Or maybe I could be an angel. I have more career ideas now than when I was trying to make my choice on education and profession. If I could find a cheap flight to Middle Earth I would go there and become an Elf and talk to the trees. I stood in the forest one day not long ago and listened to the silence and actually hugged a tree (after carefully checking that I was alone). A strong, silent, comforting tree.
How I wished I could hear its song.
7 comments:
Winter late to arrive there too?
Must be the La Nina or El Nino or something!
And, I think you should have added 'more' to strong, true, beautiful, wise because for me you already have all those qualities...
Couldn't help smiling while reading this post!!
I think you should become an angel...
You don't need training or anything, because you already are one!!
And, if you want to become an Elf, then the forest of Fealdamar is open for you...
And, you can hug trees without appearing weird!!!
The song, my dear PP is everywhere in the forest. It is the Song which made you hug that warm tree... which embraced you back.
And, I think I need a hug too...
I suddenly remembered
things, that weren't supposed to be remembered.
A beautiful post. I can understand the true feeling behind every word. There's always a longing for something just beyond reach in everyone. Only the blessed or the fortunate can accept this longing and move on, retaining their purity.
Prince: thank God for trees! I hope you have some where you are, that can give you the comfort you need and deserve (not only Fealdamar trees although they are of course the best kind). I love forests so I love to visit your enchanted one.
Still need some more practice for my angel job though...
Aruni: yes, sometimes that longing is almost unbearable. But how poor we would be without it! And it helps to know others know it too.
If everyone in the world could aspire to the loftier ideals, then i'm sure we would be more of an inspiration to each other than what we already are. It is only when we see a light that we want to reach for it. It's an easier action than to reach up nonetheless into the unknown dark. This dark winter, when everyone of us, keep a bit of that light alive in us; the embers may burn low, but will never die out as long as we can nurture the flame.
And yes, the longing is ever-present in those who would be of Middle-earth: the half-known, unknown, weeping poets and lonely painters. Thank God that you at least are the richer for it!
Pianopoet, I'd be glad like anything to be on that flight to MIddle-earth. You already are an angel, so you might show me the way...
Thank you both for your lovely comments! As always, it brightens my dark winter day. Strangely, the (sometimes very painful) longing of other poets/painters is both a comfort and that inspiration that you speak of.
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