Saturday, March 19, 2011

the joy of Russian mud

Day of iron deficiency and cautious optimism.

Just before I woke up I dreamt I was walking along the mysterious plains in western Russia and suddenly my son and my dog (both of whom exist only in my dreams) fell into a bottomless mud pool and I had to pull them up. I managed to save the dog and felt profound relief. I didn't manage to save my son and felt mild regret. Is it allowed to have dreams like this? Feelings like this? I'm probably not meant to have kids, though I often feel pain over the fact that I don't. I'm probably meant to have a dog.

The most emotional part of the dream was, however, walking across the plains - a place I've never been. Flat and greyish-brown, yet enchantingly fascinating, with hills on the horizon. This is a recurring feature in my dreams - finding myself in strange landscapes, always with the same wide-eyed, joyful wonder that I used to have so often.

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