Things occupying my mind a Wednesday in March:
* a man I can't have
* a man I could have had and still couldn't
* shame and emotional incompetence
* mother-daughter relationships, bad ones and good ones, biological ones and deeply spiritual ones
* whether there is someone else out there like me
* a possible walk out on the frozen sea in the sunlight and whether I have the strength
* whether I should visit people out of obligation or do things that bring me joy
* healthy and unhealthy independence/isolation
* a possible afternoon spent at the library
* whether I should go to church tonight and whether that would mean healing or embarrassment
* whether I'm ugly or not
* my hatred of the gym
* the daily struggle to keep one's head above the surface
A mind full of things, is that what they call mindfulness?
The plan for a free Wednesday in March (subject to change):
Finish my coffee, hit the shower, get dressed, take the car out to the sea and go for that walk, continue to the library. Later consider my next move. Or just drift. Depending on mood.
No comments:
Post a Comment