Wednesday, April 02, 2008

my habits contradict me

Wonder how many skewed images of myself I carry around in my head?

I think of myself as shy, reserved, even a bit anti-social at times. Somewhat lonely, not the type who surrounds herself with friends. But someone asked me how many new friends I have made during the last six months (which were pretty average months in my life) - and by friends meaning people I make an effort to meet up with again, or at least people I let through my carefully guarded mental barriers somehow. People who are not yet my close friends, but who I know share my desire to get to know each other better. And I am by no means the kind of person who tries, or even wants, to "make the whole world my friend".

I counted at least ten. That's nearly one a fortnight. Not bad for an anti-social loner.

The wise person I quoted a couple of blog entries back has also said that character is the sum of your habits. For example, you can't claim to be a kind person if you don't have the habit of being kind to others. Conversely, I suppose, I can't call myself anti-social anymore since it's clearly, by empirical evidence, not my habit to be anti-social.

This conclusion annoys me. Now I have to look at other habits and try to face the truth in what they tell me.

1 comment:

Aruni RC said...

At least ten? Not bad for an anti-social loner indeed. Well, be looking forward to the little-miss-sunshine reincarnation of the Pianopoet then.
Somehow, isn't what one thinks of oneself that matters most. Rather than what 'empirical evidence' states. Nope, I'm not encouraging a relapse into the anti-social here! ;)