My friend A has a way of prefacing a particularly juicy bit of gossip with the warning "you didn't hear this". Which means I'm not allowed to tell anyone.
"I can't remember if I told you this story before, but if I didn't, you didn't hear this," she said today.
"But if you did tell me before?"
"Then you did hear this. Obviously."
And we were falling over with laughter. The world would be a bleak place without her.
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