Wednesday, August 10, 2016

a year in Her Majesty's service

From my diaries: the year 2004 ...

* The year arrived for me in the Irish mountains, on a 12-hour shift in a busy little hotel. The night included a gigantic pavlova that took 45 minutes to eat, giggling on command into somebody's phone, hard work, frustration and happiness, and exchanging a handshake and a kiss (the Irish new year greeting) with an entire village. In the small hours, I withdrew to my drafty attic room to drink some illegal alcohol in peace.
* These were the last few weeks of a long Irish adventure – intrigues and sing-alongs, a Spanish best friend with blue hair, candle-lit dinners, pub nights with strange friends and strangers, roaring fires, and betting on horses with a rich man's money.
* Spent a night drinking champagne with celebrities in the VIP room of Dublin's hottest club.
* Impressed the Irish, but not the Romanian immigrants, with my ice-skating skills.
* Said farewell to Ireland with a week of parties, a dawn walk and a mountain tour. There was cake, slivovitsa and striptease, as well as a snowdrop brought down from a mountain just for me.
* Moved to England, without a clue, one February day. Within 24 hours I found a receptionist job in a quiet Cotswolds village, where I had a hidden room in a labyrinthic old inn. Fought boredom and loneliness, read novels in cosy tea rooms and 13th century pubs, became the resident computer genius and performed whistling duets with a parrot.
* Had more than one incident at the hotel involving celebrities and dirty laundry (literally).
* Found a church where I cried every Sunday.
* Celebrated my birthday with a picnic in the Duke of Marlborough's own park, together with a pheasant and a black swan. Saw the not very feel-good movie The Passion of the Christ and ended the day at an alcohol-fueled party that my new friends threw in my honour. Very hung-over, I was tenderly awakened by the fire alarm the next morning.
* Moved to the city of Cambridge and explored everything from suburban cricket grounds to college courts. Stayed in a hell-hole of a house where the only comforts were blood-red sheets and a poster of a calla lily, then moved to share a tiny house and an apple tree with a male stranger.
* Found a job in a luxury hotel reception – with stress, arrogant celebrities and a psychotic boss, but also hilarious workmates and champagne celebrations.
* Tried to learn professional bed-making skills and slept in the hotel's junior suites.
* Had a nervous breakdown but recovered after three days in the healing embrace of London.
* Soaked up sun and life during endless summer days by the river, drinking iced frappuccinos and punting with beautiful people.
* Lived my Cambridge life with one friend only, my Czech mate. I helped her find a job, she taught me chess, we discussed lost love in many a pub and danced in the winter's only snowfall.
* Found a self-defence course, volleyball with a real coach, a lively church and a magical night at the circus. Explored every corner of the city, encountering man-eating horses as well as strangers wanting to discuss the meaning of life.
* Flirted on Guy Fawkes' Night with a boy in a mohawk, who later sent me a dozen roses.
* Experienced evensong in King's College Chapel and a date spent swigging African sugarcane liquor out of a Coke bottle.
* Celebrated Christmas in London, an out-of-the-world experience: Christmas dinner in a dirty Libanese falafel joint, pub life in Putney and sincere prayer in a chilly Hyde Park. And the absolute impossibility of finding a cup of coffee on Christmas Day.
* Partied with strangers who all loved me (but then most of them were on drugs).
* Had a New Year's Eve that I've completely forgotten.

Extracurricular trips taken:
* Bournemouth: lovely seabass dinner, beach-walking in the rain
* Bath: sitting by the steaming water where the ancient Roman used to bathe, architecture and a river trip
* Wales: great company, romantic castle ruins
* Ireland: old friends and a mountain tour
* Cornwall: beach holiday with exploring and lots of texting
* Various quirky towns in the Fens: medieval cathedrals, great pub lunches and train rides across the flattest country I've ever seen
* An afternoon in Grantchester's famous orchard: reading The Times and thinking big thoughts among oaks and apple trees, squirrels and a beautiful October light
* Several day trips to London: shows, vodka mudshakes and a magical atmosphere

Weirdest question asked of me this year: ”Where can I hang these two dead pheasants?”

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